Friday, September 27, 2013

Plagues in Toyland: A Collection of Necrotic Nursery Rhymes Vol 1

Peter Pumpkin Eater

Peter, Peter sick with fever
Killed his wife but couldn't grieve her
Hid his deed in pumpkin shells
And gently tossed them down a well

Jack and Jill 

Jack and Jill critically ill
Hosts of deadly contagion
Said Goldilocks,
"You've got the pox!"
And promptly quarantined them. 

Jack Be Nimble

Jack was nimble
Jack was quick
Jack evaded
Security's tricks

He wandered o're country

Through valleys he fled
'Till Little Jack Horner
Fell over dead

Little Jack Horner

Little Jack Horner
With nary a mourner
Lamenting his unmarked grave 
He opened his eyes
Persuaded to rise
And seek out the skull meat he craved

Little Miss Muffet

Little Miss Muffet
First one to snuff it
When Jacky came home to play
He gnawed on gray matter
As sweet as cake batter
And two corpses shambled away

Wee Willie Winkie

Wee Willie Winkie runs for his life
Hiding in the shadows, and brandishing a knife
Screaming into windows, up and down the block
"Arm yourselves and flee the town, for now the undead walk!"

Little Bo Peep

Little Bo Peep
Can't fall asleep
Dead hands pound at door and window
Carnivorous moans
Throats choked with bones
Begging to see her blood flow

Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall
High-powered scope to see them all
Heads pop like pumpkins
Streets splattered with brains
Humpty squeezing the trigger
Again and again

Old King Cole

Old King Cole
Was afraid for his soul
Last man in the kingdom, was he
He fingered his piece
And he prayed for release
For he knew it was futile to flee

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